Yacht At Sea

Setting: A large yacht at sea. It is the middle of the night and the waters are calm. The sound of water are heard lapping against the side of the boat and the occasional fish swimming up to the surface. 

Jack is sitting above deck on a small bench, a lumpy brown pillow case placed beside him. 

Jack (to himself): You’ve really done it now, man. (pause as he looks over the sea) Like stealing a boat is going to get you out of the trouble you’re already in. (the wind picks up, rattling the sail and he pats the lumpy pillowcase next to him) At least you got what you’ve always wanted. Even if, I give it a week, before I’m caught. Drug back to shore and thrown in prison for the rest of my pathetic life. It was worth it, though. 

A shuffling sound is heard below deck, followed by a loud bang and Jack leaps to his feet as MARY ascends the stairs. She is an older woman with white-grey hair curling around her shoulders and wrapped up in a light pink bathrobe, matching fluffy slippers on her feet. 

Mary (speech slightly slurred): What in the hell is going on? 

Jack (surprised): Wha- who are you?

Mary (scowling): Who am I? This is my boat you’re taking on a joyride, mister! (she glances around the boat, eyes falling on the sail) Good god, how you even managed it is a damn mystery, you don’t even know how to attach the sail to the mast track!

Mary sets about correcting the position of the sail as Jack watches her silently. When she is finished she moves across the deck to stand at the wheel before kneeling down beside it and opening a small hatch. She shuffles around for a moment before pulling out a large bottle.

Mary: As long as we’re out here, we might as well have a drink.

Jack: What? Are you crazy you old broad? 

Mary pauses.

Mary: I don’t think so. Now, this is some high class bourbon. Old Rip Van Winkle bourbon, mind you. 

Mary cracks the top of the bottle and fetches two glasses.

Jack (sighing exasperatedly and sitting back on the bench): I don’t want any bourbon, lady. What were you doing on this boat, anyway? I thought it was empty.

Mary (shoving a glass of bourbon into his hand): I live on this boat. Well, mostly. I have a house but (pause) There’s just something about the sea, I can’t get away from it. 

Jack: I hate the sea.

Mary: Good thing to escape to somewhere you hate. You’re not a very bright one, hm? 

Jack (laughs, knocks back his drink): Nope.

Mary (angry): That bourbon is meant to be sipped! Not sloughed down your gullet like some swine! 

Jack: Listen, lady. I wasn’t planning on you being on this boat. This complicates things. Is there any way I could, I don’t know, drop you off at some port? Make you walk the plank? Cause I really don’t think you wanna be around when I’m found. 

Mary (laughs): I’ve seen enough in my life not to be scared of you. This is my boat, and a captain always goes down with her vessel. I might not have been expecting this little escapade, but I can’t say it’s unwelcome. I can’t remember the last time I had an honest to god high seas adventure. 

Jack: This isn’t what I’d call adventure. I pretty much kidnapped you, you know? 

Mary: I’d like to see you try to kidnap me, boy. I may be old, but this body has still got some fight in it. 

Suddenly, the boat rocks heavily, sending Jack and Mary sprawling across the floor. 

Jack (scared): What was that?

Mary gets up and squints over the side of the boat, pulling a small flashlight out of her bathrobe and shining it on the water below. 

Mary: Shark.

Jack (loudly): A shark?!

Mary: Yup. Big one too if it’s able to send Big Betty rocking. 

Jack (nervous): What do we do?

Mary: Nothing, you idiot. It’s a shark, not a kangaroo. It’s not going to jump on deck with us and try to commandeer the boat. 

Mary (suddenly): Oh shoot, my fish tank!

Mary quickly disappears below deck. Jack, confused, follows her. 

Mary: Thank goodness, my babies are okay. Aren’t you, sweetums? (makes cooing noises at fish tank)

Jack (smiles): Really? You have fish, on a boat, in the sea? 

Mary: I’m heading to the galley to rustle up some grub. Feel free to continue to mope above deck.